I don’t think it’s misogynistic at all. I mean, kink is kink, and the stuff that happens there has different rules. If the female character in question is enthusiastically consenting to the play, then how on earth can it be misogynistic? Your love sounds like he’s a stand-up dude outside of kink (and inside!), and as long as his kink stays within the confines of kink, I can’t see how it could be any sort of problem.
In my head, I’m comparing this to rape play, humiliation play, take-down/capture play, kidnapping play, etc etc etc. All of those things are extremely Not Okay when not negotiated and consented to beforehand, but they’re fantastic within a scene!
There will always be people who don’t understand and who try to shame your kink. Just remind them that you, as the female character in question, enjoy ryona, and feel empowered by it (I mean, I assume you see it as a sexual experience, which I consider empowering because you’re embracing your sexuality). Also remind them that you don’t kink-shame them, and you would appreciate the same treatment.
Well, what exactly makes you uncomfortable about it? Try making a list. Don’t feel silly or stupid or whatever for anything you put on it- be honest with yourself. Then, ask your boyfriend to make a list of the things he loves about it. Trade lists, so that you can see where the other person is coming from.
For example: if you hate the idea of the smell, he can be sure to drink a ton of water and maybe skip any vitamins he takes that day, so the smell is reduced. If he loves the idea of the humiliation aspect and humiliation is something you’re otherwise turned on by, you can try to think of it as another type of humiliation as opposed to capital-W-Watersports, which is sort of intimidating.
I’d also suggest working up to actually consuming the urine. That’s pretty advanced to jump right into, particularly if the person doing the consuming isn’t especially turned on by the idea.
Last thing: even if this WAS an “I want to make this guy like me so I’m gong to do this thing” situation, there’s nothing wrong with that! I mean, it’s definitely better that you’re trying to reciprocate indulgence of kinks, but there’s nothing wrong with trying to sexually please someone you’re into.
Yep! Sorry about the long wait on that. Like I said, real life got particularly real-life-y. I’ve just had a really great person apply to co-mod the blog, so answers should be coming more regularly now.
Everyone who waited for me to come back without unfollowing, thank you so much, from the bottom of my kinky little heart. You’re all the best.
Have you told him how difficult it is for you to get off without kink? Have you talked about exactly why it makes him uncomfortable? This sounds like it’s going to have to be a time for you two to compromise.
You might talk about certain kinks that are necessary for you to get off, certain things that are extremely hard limits for him. If those involve the same kink (you NEED to be choked, he is completely unable to choke you), you might talk about opening up your relationship. That doesn’t mean your relationship is lesser, or is unfulfilling, just that your sexualities don’t quite match up. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Good luck, remember to use your words and don’t expect him to suddenly turn into Mr. Masterly Dom overnight.
I think that would be a great way to start introducing D/s into more of your vanilla life. I think you also should talk to your partner about this, because he should know that you’re wanting to act submissive in more aspects of your life. It’s hard to be submissive to someone who isn’t being dominant! Good luck, and congratulations on your collaring!
I’m a bit confused. Are you into wearing satin/silk, or into your partners wearing it, or satin/silk sheets, or all of the above?
I know there are silk boxers on the market, if that’s what you’re into. Here’s some satin ones: http://www.overstock.com/Clothing-Shoes/Mens-Classic-Satin-Boxer-Shorts-Pack-of-5/5337848/product.html If you’re into crossdressing, a google search for “men’s silk panties” brought up hundreds of thousands of results.
As for the other things, you could put satin or silk sheets on your bed when you know a girl is going to be coming over. You could say to your partner, “fuck, it gets me off so hard to see you in silk” or something along those lines.
For the record: it’s not weird at all. Satin’s sexy!
You, well. You just bring it up to him. Sit down with some tea or coffee or whatever it is you guys like to drink (preferably non-alcoholic, because being clear-headed is a good idea for this conversation). Tell him that you want to talk about your relationship and some things you’ve been thinking about.
Tell him how you feel when you call him baby, and that you want to explore that dynamic further. Maybe don’t jump right into “I want to wear diapers and for you to feed me bottles” and all that (I don’t know if that’s what you want, obviously, I’m just making an example), because to someone who’s never thought about this before, that can be a little scary. Tell him you’re curious about calling him Daddy, about being punished when you’re bad.
Just talk to him! Trust him to hear you out. I know it’s scary, but it’s a lot better than never doing it.
There are differences between the different types of D/s relationships, yes, but it’s also important to remember that the only people who can really define their relationship are the ones involved in it. I answered a question like this here: http://afraidyouwillknow.tumblr.com/post/19529634872/whats-the-difference-between-a-pet-slave-and (for some reason, my link button isn’t working. I’ll fix it soon.)
I didn’t cover Daddy/little relationships there, because I don’t know a ton about them. However, if you and your boyfriend aren’t into the titles, you don’t have to use them! You can make up your own titles, or you can use Master/slave titles and to hell with what you think those titles “should” mean. This is about what works for you, not about what everyone else things you should be doing.
Hmm. Have you talked to him about this? There’s nothing wrong with being afraid- we were all afraid at some point- but if your Dom knows you’re scared and isn’t doing anything to help, that’s a little off. Tell him what you’re feeling. If he doesn’t seem to care, or enjoys that you’re afraid of him, you might want to think about the relationship.
One thing to remember is that D/s isn’t about you doing every single thing he says and never having an opinion or a voice. It’s about the two of you enjoying your sexualities. If you’re not enjoying it (I mean, punishments aren’t always enjoyable, that’s not what I mean) because you’re too scared, there’s something wrong.
As for being inexperienced, there’s something to be said for being the first person someone tries something with. It’s kind of a rush, and it can be a really cool feeling.
Talk to your Dom about all this. Good luck!